Todae’s not a bad day afterall…..

3 project meetings + training, but meeting were all short ones =)

IT project meeting with prof did help clarify some doubts abt the flowchart. But our IT project is quite a mess, and far far far from completion, yet the deadline is in 1 wk time!! Shucks, I haven’t done enuf for IT project. My IT grp too nice already, so I always do other projects first, this is damn bad…Argh, I’ll do smth tonite.

Had 202 meeting, luckily I was quite early and the grp came late, so had some time to think abt the case and prepare. But I only stayed for an hr, then had to leave for training, oops am such a bad grp member, but they didn’t want to meet earlier. I had yummy belgian chocolate ice blended! Really helped me concentrate.

Time seemed to pass especially fast during training today. Sometimes the feeling’s there, but sometimes I just can’t seem to find back that feeling. Argh! Finally managed to feel it at the last bit, when doing the 300m sets, but still the motion not smooth, super jerky, shucks…

Ate macs during 205 meeting. And I ate the whole meal!! I was quite hungry, haha. Shucks, super unhealthy. I shdn’t have eaten macs, tend to give me the headaches I dunnoe why, maybe too much msg. Wasn’t really prepared for 205 meeting, argh, still haven’t got much clue how to solve the qn.....

Shucks, gave in to temptations to watch tv!!

Haiz, freaking hate it when pple keep pressing me…pls lar, I will do my part!! I am NOT a free rider!!...freaking shit…haiz...why why why…pple always tink tt way of me…haiz…internship screw up becoz of tt, project mates also tink I liddat…haiz…why!?!?! I am not liddat!!!....haiz….ok, I really gotta come up with some solid analysis for tmr project discussion. haizzzzz…I foresee getting zero for peer evaluation….wadever…I am already so freaking screwed….haizzzzzz…maybe u r right, I haven done much, but I am doing it now!!! And the project just started can….haizzz…=(=(=(=( why issit I can’t seem to get along with anyone, except old frens…haizzzzz….

Didn’t get E&Y internship =( Haiz....Never doing anything right, my last 2 internships I also screw it up. Haiz, this is sooo bad, don’t know how I’ll survive in future. Haiz, so worrying….

Anyway just got scolded by my dad…Haiz, every scolding always ends up pointing to db training...haiz...i will study, i really want to…it’s not the training that’s affecting my studies, it’s my own procrastination, laziness, lack of drive...haiz…

And it’s freaking hurting again...freaking irritated…can u be stronger anot...

Haiz…want to catch up with my studies also cannot…every day project, project and still project…haiz…I haven’t even study for the damn quiz can….haiz…

Haiz…can’t concentrate…juz spent 2 hrs staring at the 214 teknosport case, tinking how to write the sensitive message…haiz…now I staring at the 202 case my group discussing tmr...staring but still on the same page…haiz…

Life suxs lar…nono, I’m the one who suxs…

Liddat how to survive when graduate…haiz…future’s bleak…highly irritated low mood….booooooooooooooooo….

Doomed already larrr.....

No way near completion for tmr's project and tutorial case discussion.....shucks....

Yay!~ It’s Recess Week!! =)

But then again, there’s so many projects to deal with!! =S

Yest had 2.4km evaluation. The team’s improvement is really wow!! Almost everyone was running under slightly over 12 mins. It’s not only a few individuals, but really the whole team has improved a lot except for only a few, like 3 pple only!!

Not as smooth as the last evaluation for me though. Timing was ok, but still worse than the previous evaluation by around 20 seconds. I was practically trying to catch my breath throughout the run!! Arggghhh, it was quite a painful run!! I dunnoe why…but even only at the middle of the first round, I already started being very breathless and panting madly ….was quite irritated by my own breathing, but couldn’t control it!!!....maybe because it’s been a long time since I went ost running….better start running more!!

Rejected……

I didn’t get INSTEP =(



Sad…

I wanna go exchange!! Only hope left is GIP. Please please…….

Still typing the GIP application. Arghh....struggling to write the about myself essay....Shucks, i dunnoe....what do i realli noe abt myself tt is not negative?? argghhhhhhhhhhhh.......helpsssssss.......

I am always sleepy, can sleep anywhere, anytime....I like to cycle, like to travel, like to go for camps, like to explore new places, like to exercise....I like to go through challenges, and experience the satisfaction of achievement from overcoming challenges......I'm not very patient, get bored easily....I suck at communications, usually can't think of what to say, and I especially sux at consoling pple....I like to be alone at times, but I like being around people also...I used to be a perfectionist, used to be very motivated, used to chiong for everything, used to like being very meticulous, but i'm getting worse and worse.....arggghhhh.....wad to write man!?!?

Feels so nice to have the afternoon freeeee!!! Yay!~ Loves wed afternoons, that’s if there’s no project meeting…..

Screwed my 205 quiz….=(….Actually risk is really quite an interesting subject, and I want to do internship related to risk advisory work….BUT lacking motivation to study….last nite fell asleep after training, even before 1am…argghhhhhh…..so I spent like onli 2 hours this morn trying to study before class….Dun even think I can pass the freaking quiz =(

Feel like there’s suddenly so much things to do…201 and 202 project recently released…presentations and stuff coming up….arrrghhhhh…..gd thing next week is recess wk!!!

Hate to have face-to-face project meetings after training!!! Must be on both sat & sun somemore…Arggghhhhh.....Always feel like zzzzz after weekend training. Think its becoz of the sun. Can even doze off while reading the newspapers or using the com after training, and my dad always like to tease me for that…….booooooo……dun wan haf project meeting after training…..dunwandunwandunwandunwandunwandunwan

2.4km evaluation tmr!! Sooooo deaddd....Haven't been running much these days...stamina really dropped a lot liao....shall aim 2 min per round....hopefully can last, arghhh realli hopefully...shucks, so unprepared....

TGIF!! Its been one long week….

Sleep is such a precious thing. Been deprived of sleep this whole week. And sleeping throughout almost all my lessons =(

Last sun whole nite spent chioning BF307 graded assignment, but still couldn’t finish on time. Had to forego Shangri-La lunch buffet on Mon, booooooo, the yummy sushi. Mon nite fell asleep from 7pm to 7am, hahax, I woke up in a shock, wanted to run wif teddy but didn’t hear the alarm at 10pm. Tue nite busy wif NAF preparations, but still managed to sleep 4 hrs before doing morning duty. Wed nite spent doing naf decorations, actually I wanted to and really needed to do my presentations and tutorials, but haiz. Anws I survived 41 hours without sleep, but actually I felt rather awake, except during lessons. Went out for nice dinner with the team just outside school, and got back quite late and straight away knocked out, lucky teddy gave me morning call on Fri, so could finally sleep peacefully on Thur nite without having to worry that I might miss the alarm.

Realised that I haven’t blogged about my CNY celebrations yet. Fun-filled 4 days, despite worrying for BF307 graded assignment. Reunion dinner this year was quiet, no nana, no uncles & cousins, I soooo miss those days of large family gathering, it’ll never be the same again, will it?

During cny break, I watched the whole 6 discs of Twenty-four, nice movie!! I like action-packed, mysterious, detectives-like, and war- like movies.

Went out cycling twice. Cycled to west coast park and my dad found this nice spot near the shore, where can see all the small boats parked, and hear the waves =) Riding on our bikes, we bought mac ice-cream using drive-thru =) Sat afternoon, went out cycling again to pandan reservoir and jurong east.

This year collected a lot of Hongbaos!!

Visiting only began on Sat, went to uncle kim’s house. Huimin’s son is really damn heavy. He’s only 18mths but already 14kg, I was a bit struggling to carry him =X…

Sun was one full day of visiting. In the morning, went to lao yi’s place, i.e. my mum’s ahyi’s place, saw ah gong and ah ma and my ahyis and cousins who I see only once a year. Gu gu, so so and da so so came in the afternoon. My sis and I managed to persuade da so so to bring us to visit nana!!! So happy!!! Nana, I really missed you. You are the person I respect and love most. No one can ever replace you in my heart. It was such a great relief to see my nana. I hope you can be happy. I really want to visit nana every weekend, but trainings, projects and schwork is really tying me down. =(

I’m lagging so much in my school work and projects…So much that I dunnoe where to even start =( Next week, got 205 quiz, 205 project interview, 214 quiz, 202 project discussion, 213 project interview. Shall get started with my overdue 213 assigment now, supposed to submit this morning, but…. Okaes, I better stop blogging & start 213 assignment now!!! I will complete and submit by tonight!!

Reminder to self:
Things to do this weekend (in order of importance) –> GIP application, 213 project, 202 project, 205 project………..


haiz, I feel so screwed up…..

I should just shut up and stay away don’t feel like dealing with it trying to ignore it but can’t going back

I wanna go home now!!! Waiting & waiting for my mum to come pick me frm hall….

I woke up at 11.30am just now….hahax….I’m such a pig…But so long nv sleep until so shuang already...

Finally folded my clothes neatly and put them all nicely into the cupboard. =) Now my hall room is super neat, only thing left is the dusty floor. But I’m too lazy to mop it, especially when my upper body is aching frm yest training…too long nv do canoe twist and the 2 mins stations…

Last night, went for naf meeting. Sighs…I’ll survive nxt week, somehow...At least angela was kind enough to allow me to go for thur lessons...shhhhhh...supposed to be compulsory muz pon lesson...main duty suppose to be at 12.30 but 228a not allowed to pon any lessons, and muz wear formal also...I dun mind doing overnight duty instead...

Have been in a holiday mood ever since the cancellation of 201 quiz yesterday. All I’ve been thinking of is playing and having fun during this 4 day cny holiday…I wanna go madness cycling, like cycle 2-3 times a day, cycle far far!! (My parents dun allow me to go nite cycling wif qianyi & taychuan! Argh!! I wan gooo!!) I also wanna go running wif my tiga doggie, time to make him and I lose weight!!

But there is still the BF307 maddness to do...need to submit at least 20 pgs of handwritten summary per chapter, for 6 chaps on mon!! Crap lar, I haven’t even done 1 pg of summary yet…20 * 6 = 120 pgs over 4 days…Argh!!!

Still waiting & waiting for my mum to come pick me!!!....Borredddd & hungrryyyy!!!

~ Happy Chinese New Year to All!!! ~

201 quiz postponed!!~ Yay!!~ Am soooo relieved that 201 quiz has been postponed!! =) Apparently there was double booking of the LT, and there was another class having lecture. Isn’t such booking of LT very standardized every semester? And shouldn’t such bookings have already been made at the beginning of the semester? Oh wells, I glad there was a clash of venue, so that 201 quiz can be postponed. Only started piaing 201 last nite, without having previously read nor done the tutorials. Was really in battle zone mode frm 7.30-9.30pm last night, which was quite funny at hindsight, probably the most serious studying time I had since the start of this semester, but still have lotsa stuff haven’t read and understand yet.

Finally bought the slippers that I have been long eyeing for!! Looks very comfy, but it gives me blisters. I got fat feet, argh! =( Maybe my feet just some time to adjust to the shoes and the shoes need some time to be seasoned. Now I can don’t always have to wear shoes to sch already! Yay!~

I’ve long given up the hope of being able to row in THE boat, for my strokes are really very bad and the no. of mistakes with my stroke is just too many to list. All I aim for is to improve my stroke and to be able to get to row and fight with the team in any race, and not always be a reserve and on-looker on the shore. But thanks pang and teddy for having so much faith in me. I really wanna row well to get to row in the finals of any race with the team. Would really like to aim for 1 medal this sem, even just one will do, any colour will do. That’s how desperate I am! I just wanna be able to keep a medal from DB. And this sem may well be my last sem in DB, if can get GIP, which I really hope I can get GIP.

Okaes…better stop blogging already and do smth constructive.

Quite a while since I last blogged. And it’s the end of wk 4 already!! The past 2 wks have been very sucky, especially dealing with 205 project. Lesson learnt, always do extensive research and prepare our strategy professionally before going down to the host organization. The most traumatizing experience for me and my group! But we deserved it, given the minimal effort we put into our 205 project.

Tmr my group is gg to another host organization for our 213 project. Hope it goes well.

Many presentations this semester, making me kinda depressed too. I realli sux big time at presentations. 307 presentation, got interrupted at almost every sentence I said. I do have the habit of always ensuring that ppt slides are properly done. In fact, I like to always keep adjust the fonts, custom animations, background, etc. to fine tune the ppt slides. But still, yupz I agree that its negligence on my part, could have done paid more attention to certain areas that I overlooked. It’s just that the outcome does not justify the efforts. I needa be more open-minded, learn from and not get upset by mistakes.

214 presentation is my greatest nightmare. Even the tutor can shake head while listening to my presentation, sighs… Its not so bad if the only problem is with eye contact, hand gestures, or tone of voice, as those are ways to further improve presentations. But, what’s worse is that I don’t even meet the basic criteria of delivering a speech with reasonably ok content and having sentences which flow reasonably smoothly. I can’t even stand watching myself in the recorded presentation. Wad is happening, at least I was ok during 114, but now after 1 year, I’m such a failure at presentations….I so fear gg for 214….

I noe pple ard me are being irritated by me, or starting to detest me. I am not shirking responsibility ok. I don’t like shirking responsibility and most of the time, I’d gladly do more than I’m supposed to. I don’t seek your understanding, say or tink wadever you want, for I would feel the same way too from your point of view. It’s my fault for not managing my time well. But I just thought you would be a bit more understanding. I will and am trying to manage it, and I am trying to make up for it. Am I really such a detestable person….

Todae, I finally did spring cleaning of my hall room. Finally sorted out the huge messy pile of notes, tutorials and rubbish papers! At least now I don’t needa dig for my notes before every lesson. A neat and clean table & room, does indeed brighten up one’s mood.

What’s done is over. Let’s work towards a better tomorrow. You can and you must….

Current mood: Worried for 213 project, 205 project, 201 quiz and **** ********.

Nitex.