Flunked terribly for tax quiz…sighs….cannot even pass…onli got 8 out of 20 correct…there goes 10% of tax grades….

No doubt I wasn’t realli prepared for tax quiz…there were still many stuff tt I din noe existed, onli to realize when the tutor went thru the quiz afterwards…budden the format of tax quiz seriously suxs…it was in the form of true and false, but there were 2 statements….so it was like
(1) statement A is true
(2) statement B is true
(3) Both statements A & B are true
(4) Both statements A & B are false

Sooo…even if I got statement A correct but got statement B wrong, then the whole qn wrong…Zzzzzzzz…..wad’s the prob man…a simple true and false format would be ok, why complicate matters….sianz….

Napha test todae...

Time flies…its been a yr since the last napha test, though it seems not too long ago…still struggling to accept the fact that I’m a senior already…oh wells….back then, we were ultimate worried abt the 14min timing for 2.4km (had onli clocked once below 14min…when I ran 4km every nite during 1st 3 mths of jc…was not crazy, back then was contemplating if I should join nj canoeing, haas, but stopped by that fear or hatred to canoe for causing that that will stay wif me for life)

Anyways, I still remember that last yr, it was seng kiet, my hall 2 camp fren, that ran wif me 2 nights b4 the actual test, to clock barely under 14min that gave me a lil assurance b4 the actual run…

But this time round, didn’t haf any assurance…my last timed 2.4km was last yr napha test...even wif 1 yr of training…somehow I feel less fit, less stamina than b4…

Fortunately, I did survive…it was a rather comfortable run…sighs, goes to show once again din not go all out…

started off with an ok pace, din chiong off straight away(usually I like to chiong the first few rounds…& tink abt the remaining rounds later…)…

felt quite high after the 3rd round…wanted to chiong a bit…budden decided to watch my pace, conserving some energy…BUT conserving energy failed…should not haf conserved…chuied at the 5th round…

din realli look at the timing…but tink its abt 12.20mins….1min improvement frm last yr…but dun realli haf that shiok feeling that I can say I haf done my best….I could haf pushed more…stop conserving…juz go all out now, and leave the rest to internal strength…

disappointed…nv doing anything right…

am not someone tt pple can rely on for encouragement, consoling, comforting, etc…somehow, I realli dunnoe how to encourage others, wad to say to comfort others, wad to reply when pple complain…sighs…always saying the wrong things...

randomness…somehow I’m always stuck inbetween conversations gg on ard me…yet not part of any…of awkwardness, of no mood to attempt to be part of it, of sometimes juz wanting to get away frm it….

Messy messiness...Scared for tax quiz…No idea wads gg on for other sources of income…always doze off during draggy tax tut…Haven started accounting II & investment project…accounting quiz coming up…scared for excel quiz…322 notes a mess…gotta start on 322 case soon…nv do company law tuts…company law report coming soon…been slacking on 212…always zzz during genes r us....no motivation to even do tuts…super lagging for all subjects…come recess wk pls…

Suxs....It is hurting again. It is always hindering me. Why can’t it be a lil stronger, I’m not asking much of it, juz stop giving me problems, had enuf of it…Hate it…pls stop it!

Never realli liked short distance races…

Rather off today…strokes wasn’t realli there...there’s major problem in my technique, esp during races, rock too much, motion not smooth, same old punching arm prob, recover too slow, not effectively pulling water, more like zamming the water…shit…

some talked abt giving all out…somehow, I haven’t felt that inner strength...somehow, yes I feel guilty of having some reserve...why why why…all tok but no action….yyyyyyy….can my arms & body pls listen to my head…

Juz a quick update b4 I hit the bed…There’s so much to say that I muz say b4 I slp & wake up for tmr’s race…

Today was my first time racing so many times in 1 day!! =) Usually I onli get to race once or at most twice for each race day, coz yar, I’m like the freaking lousiest left rower.

First race of the day: Women’s 12-crew Heats
This race was particularly significant to our boat. I was pretty worried for this, & I guess the rest of the boat were too. So damn worried that how if we couldn’t even make it thru the heats, we can juz go jump into the reservoir then. Sooooooo nervous that hands start numbing, right after the starts, first the pulling arm, then the punching arm, so afraid that I’ll lose grip of the paddle, body stiffens, but die die muz row damn hard for this race. Fortunately we made it to semis! =) Phew, it was realli such a great relief!!

Second race: Mixed Heats
I pretty much like rowing mixed (if I manage to keep up wif the pace that is). Mixed races are one of the few times during races that I can really feel that I stretching forwards, focus on executing technique properly, feel the boat gliding, feel that I’m pulling water.

Third race: Women’s 12-crew Semi-Finals
Pretty worried as we set out for the race, not sure how we’ll do, juz hoping we won’t end up last. Starts was not that fantastic, but rather ok, then came maintenance, huiqi called for hard 10 & could really feel that hard 10 =). Stroke rate starts building up, liked the pace, felt the pulling water, felt the boat gliding a bit, then came the best part, for once I liked our charging!! =) But still, we din come in the top few. No doubt it’s the process that’s impt but u can’t deny that the results are impt, or at least meant smth too. Quite sad thinking that it ended juz liddat…UNTIL, it was announced that we got into plate finals!! Like WOW! It’s nothing spectacular for many others, but it really meant smth for me at least. I felt it was like a breakthrough for our batch’s small boat.

Fourth race: Women’s 12-crew Plate Finals
Pretty worried once again, hoping we’ll not fare too badly. Starts was super gd, like for once our starts got a bit of power feeling! =) Liked the pace, a bit faster than previous set, keeping the boat gliding. Thought we had a chance…ok, that was like being veri veri ambitious…couldn’t maintain, we kinda punctured mid-way…wasted wasted…Haiz, I was at fault too, recovered slower than the person in front of me, & so the boat was not really in sync…soorryy…

Fifth & last race of the day: Mixed Finals
This is the few exceptions when rowing mixed was miserable. Was juz trying to keep up wif the pace, didn’t really manage pointer 3, my strokes were a mess, argghhh…sorry, I was more of a burden on the boat….sorry, I noe that was such a gd chance for a medal…process is impt, but a medal would be nice…

Tmr’s race is 200m. 200m would be more difficult than 500m, realli need charging & power…rather worried abt how our batch’s small boat will do. Prays we’ll make it thru the heats at least…

Better go Zzzz le…bus at 7am tmr!!

Naat is pretty interesting…Though nothing much to do yet, juz the beginning stages…Still it was rather fun today….I wanna be an auditor in 2 yrs time…But the bad memories of my screwed up attachment still haunts me…sighs…I wonder if I’ll be able to survive the working world…

On a lighter note, this sun is my grandma’s birthdae =) And my elder sis is coming wif her boyfren!! Woooo! I wonder how he’s like…

Maths quiz is over!!! SOoooo relieved… Stared blankly at the qn paper for a few minutes…Din realli answer the qn properly, dunno wad was I thinking at that point in time…Supposed to explain how to get the solution…BUT I blurly thought the qn wanted me to inteprete the final ans…ok, tt was a stupid interpretation of the qn…sighs…1 qn wrong out of a 2 qns quiz…

Been having this urge for night runs…argghh…Onli had 1 nite run wif sarah since this sem started…Nowadays so diff to find pple for nite run...So many pple gt leg injuries…out of our batch, can onli ask soo shuen, tay chuan, sarah n candice…pple take cares…

Super no mood nor motivation to study now…dread fridays coz of 322…sighs, time to start reading the loonnggg case for tmr…

I wan a new reebok running shoe!!! Hoping for my dad to buy me one soon….

No chance to slp at home this wkend :( Missing tiga doggie, missing family warmth & comfort...loneliness of hall life....

Starting to get excited about sava, the race feeling is starting to set in, reading the pre-race emails on yahoo groups…It’s been 1 yr in db, first race as seniors, expectations expectations ar, a test for our batch….lil fearful of how we’ll do…argh, dun tink too much, juz row a simple set, juz like training….pls pls left shoulder pls dun let me down…

Getting freaking worried for maths quiz on thurs. The thought of maths quiz has been haunting me day in day out, I sooo dun understand the matrix stuff, coz I wasn’t really listening during lessons plus din do last few tutorials, super unprepared for it, sighs, last min again…pls let me survive maths quiz…pls pls I realli wanna be a better student this sem…

Off to maths again, shall sleep soon…Tmr I promise to keep awake during lessons…pls let tmr be an exception, let tmr be a better one…

Its been quite long since I last updated. Life’s been very messy lately. Time is passing by toooooo fast, and yet I’ve not been making full use of it. Sighs…

Last week was one of a big mess. Rushing 2 presentations till late plus the many db activities gg on plus the falling asleep in almost all of my lessons (which I only blame myself for the lack of motivation, drive & interest towards my studies). Sighs… I realize that I spend onli 1-2hrs maximum per subject per week, and most of the time, I spend even less than 1hr on certain subjects (especially my accounting subjects). The cause of all the mess now to add on to the quizzes, projects & presentations that are starting to stream in. On a lighter note though, recess week is nearing in a few days time. Feeling relieved to finally be able to sort out the messiness, yet not at all relieved to know that 6 wks down the road are the exams once again. Sighs…

Yet, there have been many little things that make me smile along the way: going home on weekends :), going out for lunch wif my family, seeing my fat little tiga doggie, going for trainings, being wif my teammates, gg for nite runs which haf become rather rare these days, and the once in a blue moon being able to keep awake during lessons.

Sava’s coming up. A few seniors haf asked me if I was excited about it. To tell frankly, I dun feel excited, I dunno why I feel rather indifferent. Perhaps it’s the knowing that I may not get to row much, the feeling of being juz a reserve, the fear that we’ll probably not even make it thru the heats (like the small boat june race, those who weren’t in that boat will never understand how we feel, its just different. You all can juz tap water in the finals while we try to row hard during the heats, yet I guess the timing’s abt the same).

Survived Army Half Marathon! 21km! Ye en stayed over at my hall, fortunately, if not I wouldn’t haf woken up in time. We set off from school at about 5am coz the bus driver was late & he still keep complaining abt us…dots...

Running in the wee hours of the morning, as though the whole road belongs to us! =) Fun! Running wif the team more fun, different experience from standchart & mizuno run, budden i can't realli click wif them...k lar, i can't click well wif pple in general...change topic..

Kept wanting to go toilet during the first few km (super irritating!), but finally had toilet break at abt 10km. Actually 21km din seem so scary afterall, glad to haf completed it, though I muz say kinda disappointed wif my endurance & stamina, & most importantly attitude….Din stop except for toilet break, budden was a bit lagging behind liping(whose leg was injured) even though I was perfectly ok. Din give 100%, din push to the max, but gave in to slight tiredness, allowed myself to lag a bit for most of the time, even though it onli takes a bit more effort to keep up wif the pace…No wonder I always ganna reserve for races…wake up! Where’s that fighting spirit & attitude (to both training & studies)…

Super accident-prone! Fell while walking down the slope near hall 1 on sun nite. Fell infront of my parents…super maloo..

I’m super lousy at pain endurance. Pple can run wif a torn ligament, hurting sheen, etc. Physically disabled pple can row dragonboat. Wat am I to complain abt a small cut (at a super wrong position though). Freaking foot…stop it!! STOP IT!!

lousy mood....

SBG meeting at pasir ris early morn, prevented me from enjoying the much-awaited once a wk long nice sleep. Argh, haven been keeping up my promise. Negative thoughts…hmm, pretty frequent. Improving communication with pple…hmmm, still suxs big time. I’m really in a big mess now, & its snowballing fast, even though its onli starting wk 3 now…But I’ll clear the mess by this sat. Must!

Went for this curl event for hearing impaired & some physically disabled pple to participate in a dragonboat race. Some of them had to be carried out of the dragonboat into their wheelchairs. Realli pei fu this kind of pple, the courage they haf in life, E + R = O.

Mum’s back from hospital, had an operation to remove cis from thyroid gland. But still got some cis in the remaining thyroid gland, cannot remove all otherwise haf to be on medication for life. Hopefully with exercise, the remaining cis will not grow.

Went to watch fireworks at nite, nice! Much better than I expected, though cannot be compared to disneyland’s fireworks.

Almost dieded during BF322 class…freaking cramps was killing me…felt like the longest 3 hrs in my life… every min was like taking forever to pass by… fortunately the tutor ended like 10mins earlier…

Why do women haf to suffer from cramps? This is sooooo unfair….I rather be forced to go ns than suffer from cramps...Not fair!!

Btw, I finally managed to add Genes r Us. Like finally! Although forensic science definitely more fun, but since it is impossible to take it, so take genes r us still better than nothing. Anyway exam all mcq! nice…

The pace of teaching for BF212 realli quite fast. The tutor spoke non-stop, like no time to process anything…When I’m thinking about wad he juz said, he would haf already moved on to something else…information overload. But not his fault, really a lot of things to cover…though mostly jc maths stuff, I forgotten most of them le…

Been trying to play catch-up this whole week & it sucks…its onli the 2nd week & already my last minute chiong habit for tutorials never change…argh, time management arrrr…stop wasting time…ok, stop blogging…

BF322 can really drive me nutssss…

Suay day…sigh…

See vacancy for PE BS801, BUT cannot freaking add the subj…why? Coz the stupid stars system & overload request system restrict me to only overload 1 particular subject, which I chose CBC811….stupid system…

Then open ntu email, see the email on rejection on appeal case to add CBC811….dots…onli managed to submit appeal on the 2nd day, coz the freaking system screw up, 1st day couldn’t enter the appeal system…

So end up, cannot clear PE this sem…let’s see how I gg to manage nxt sem man…bless me luck…

Super fed up wif all these systems!!!!

On hindsight, I have a solution now! Argh, but its too late le, din tink of it juz now. Shd haf drop BF322, & add BS801 so I won’t exceed the max aus, plus since BF322 got so many vacancies no one want, I can juz send email to request to overload BF322 which most prob will be allowed…..silly me…nv tink of this earlier….haiz….

Attended CBC811 Forensci Sci lecture todae...juz trying my luck in appealing...So interesting lor…talk abt how to detect if there was blood (the pink test, dunno call wad, like the one they show on CSI), analyzing blood splatter patterns, analyzing the substances like bullet fragments, etc…haiz, I like leh…CSI is like one of my few favourite tv shows...but cannot take le….yr 3 sem 1 also no chance le, wan go for GIP....sad….

Sitting through CBC811, like having chem n bio lessons, like so much more interesting than accounting lessons…shucks man, tink I’m in the wrong course lar…love science more than accounting…budden job wise, prefer accounting, super detest lab work, unless I can be a science teacher, which I can’t coz I can’t control a bunch of naughty kids…sigh…too late anyways….focus on accounting…anyways I like accounting too, but onli like science more…there’s no turning back though, so juz focus on accounting!

Believe that everything happens for a reason, have faith have trust, somehow the dots will connect backwards, its juz we can’t see the link from where we are now…So juz give your best in everything that happens now & trust that everything happens for a reason, everything will turn out fine…

Mole abrasion!! Cries!!

Went ost running wif some of the team, & had mole abrasion while running…like wth…running also can ganna abrasion. It was quite pain can, even my sports bra also got blood (though din realize it until I bathe).

Last sat while doing twisting accidentally ganna mole abrasion. Thus, the current state of painful mole abrasion even while running. All these problems coz I haf a freaking mole out of nowhere, like not below or above the sports bra, like in some awkward position that gives me abrasion during twisting…like the strip cutting the mole…like ouch!!

Looks like really gotta remove the mole…but I scared leh. The doctor say muz cut it out (like pain!!...not use laser leh) & then stitch it!!!! (like more pain!!!!) & then muz remove the stitch (like also pain!!!) No way man!! But looks like now really no choice le…cries…helps…Anyways, I delayed it to 27 dec…hahax…the later the better…mouse is freaking scared of pain…

Happie 42th Birthdae Singapore! I’m really grateful to be born in Singapore, where there is peace, stability, security, opportunities, & a thriving economy…

Cycled to McRitchie under the blazing hot noon sun. Why? Coz no one wanna cyle in the morn! Argh! So angry can! Always liddat one! So in the end, onli my dad, me & tiga doggie went cycling…

Cycling to McRitchie is quite a hassle coz of the PIE & all the pie exits, with no traffic lights at the pie exits, had to wait insanely long for there to be finally no cars turning into the exit, & then chiong across the road, like super dangerous n scary.

Then from PIE to McRitchie got long (really long) stretches of upslope and downslope. Obviously my dad doesn’t wait for me, he juz chiong up the slopes…zzz…& my legs are like super suan todae, tink coz of the sprinting on tues training, plus the tiga doggie must haf put on some weight, super fat heavy dog juz sit in the basket n add to my difficulty.

When it is finally downslope, my dad would zoom down faster than me since he is heavier. So instead of I can finally catch my breadth & enjoy the wind while going downslope, I had to cycle faster to try to keep up wif my dad, otherwise the gap will juz widen with the next upslope. Faints…it was quite tiring…todae like cannot realli move fast, legs keep suaning…

But it was really fun!! Cycling always makes my day! Recharged & ready for sch tmr…

Skin’s peeling like crazy!! noise skin, forehead skin, etc.. luckily haf fringe to cover the disgusting peeling mess on my forehead. Can’t stand it, I’m gonna peel it all off once and for all…hymph!

Todae I did a survey in sch, in return for $10 cash. Super gd deal!! Budden hor, I didn't know how to answer the qns, was smth abt company's financial situation, then there was an analyst report n i'm asked whether the analyst report is reasonable! Like HUH?! I juz anyhow answer in 2 sentences, heehee...realli dunno how to answer it...Poor professor must be regretting paying me $10 to do the survey...

Btw, overload request has been approved but its like a lil too late now…argh! There’s obviously no more vacancies for forensic sci. Even if I wanna take genes r us (which I saw more than 100 vacancies on mon), now also zero vacancies. Sigh! Looks like really gotta clear science PE next sem already. Next sem’s gonna be a real killer…I didn’t want it this way, nxt sem supposed to be less taxing to cope with training that will step up…but there ain’t much choice now…live with it, learn to adapt…

First lecture of the new semester todae. Despite my resolution to pay attention during lectures, I couldn’t battle the zzzz monster, even though I wasn’t sleepy at all. Accounting II lecture was really ultimate boring, so forgive myself.

Many many sprinting for training todae. Too long never really sprint already. Get breathless & lack of oxygen even before my legs become tired. Maybe cycling will help build stamina. =) Looking forward to cycling on thurs!

The queue at popular bookstore is insanely long cum slow. And I realized how inconvenient it is to go from hall 1 to south spine, haf to walk thru hall 5, hall 4 then reach s3. Juz to buy 2 tbs, I walked 10-15mins to popular, queued 30 mins, then walked 10-15mins back to hall 1. What a waste of time!

The sun’s a killer! Am burnt! Burnt red!

After training, went to golden mile hawker centre for lunch. Quite surprised that golden mile is soooo near kallang, abt 5-10mins onli. Somemore got quite a lot of nice food there. Ate the hokkien mee (yummy!) Oh yar, I had a huge lunch…ate 2 donuts (that lixian brought to training), 1 huge plate of hokkien mee & 1 cup of lemon lime…oops…

Kallang was unusually quiet n deserted today. Feels kinda weird. Where is everyone? Also, today’s turnout was fewer than last few trainings. All the yr 3s(going yr 4s) weren’t here, except for emily.

We went canoeing today, & it was horrible! The canoe went anyway else but straight…diaoz…Poor yy (who was partnering me & sat at the back) had a real tough time steering the direction, can tell she’s rather pissed off. If I had to keep steering the boat, I’ll be rather pissed off too. Something’s veri veri wrong wif my technique, juz couldn’t execute the canoe twisting style. Am soooo dead meat, much more canoeing to come in the nxt few wks, mths, yr….helps….

Shucks! I can see a hole in my skin coz of the cut. Pls hope the flesh will grow back. I’m a lil more concerned abt the cut coz its hurting a lil since I juz bathe. But then again, it’s a small small cut, so relax, relax, relax, no worries…

Anways, I DIN get foriensic science!! Shit man! I’m rather screwed lar, I need to clear my STS-PE this sem & I really really wanna take foriensic science! If its on a first-come-first-serve basis, I should get it mah, b4 the system open for registration I already keep clicking to make sure I’m the first few to register. Sigh, I think its coz I haven got the overload request yet, so the system would auto reject me since I already registered the max no. of aus. Stupid system lar, the overload requesting onli starts from 6 august!!! After register subjects le, then request for overload gt wad use! Wad we need is to get overload approval b4 subject registeration wad! ARGH! Stupid system!!

As I was walking towards the rear of the bus, the bus jerked forward & my knee crashed against a metal piece jutting out from the last row of seats. Just before the incident happened, I did notice the unusual metal piece jutting out. But when the bus jerked forward, it was just a reflex action to use my knee as support, preventing an unglam fall. In exchange, my poor knee has a cut!! The cuts a bit deeper into the skin than bruises, but due to the blood clots covering the cut, its hard to see how deep the cut really is. It doesn’t hurt much though, I can still run, jump, cycle. No worries, small cut onli, can’t be that deep, juz hope the flesh will grow back (It will grow back rite?), & dun leave a hole in my skin. That metal piece jutting out is sooo dangerous, imagine if a toddler crashes into it, given the toddler’s height, he might get a cut on his head or neck…

WaLau….I wanna change room!!…Guess who’s my new roomie. She’s an Indonesian, which means she’ll be in hall even on weekends, sigh…say bye to some peace on fri nite & sat morn. Kinda expected my roomie to be a foreigner though, afterall very few sporeans would have no roomie, unless they r a loner like me. But what’s worse is that she is a close fren of my ex-roomie. This is so so sooooo coincidental lar! Sigh, this is bad esp since I was on quite bad terms wif my ex-roomie. Tell me how am I gg to survive…

As for my toiletmates, they are from China. My upper sec china classmates were quite nice pple actually. Budden heard many bad things abt having China pple as toiletmates…like they won’t clean the toilet & dirty the toilet instead. Thankfully though, my new roomie said that she saw them scrubbing the toilet when they juz moved in, so I guess & please please hope that they r probably not that bad…

Haiz, I guess the library will come in very very handy for me nxt sem…bye bye comfy, relaxing, peaceful hall room….

Do u experience a short memory loss when u juz woken up? I have experienced many many times of short memory loss when I juz woke up. This morning, I woke up wondering why my maid woke me up so early….Then, it suddenly dawned onto me that I had to be in sch by 9.30am!! And I was gg to be late!!...Shucks! This is not the first or the few times that I experience a short memory loss upon juz waking up. During school time, quite frequently, when I wake up in hall I would like wonder what do I haf to do…And onli after look at my timetable b4 I remember what class I had to go for that morning. And so most of the time, I wake up in the morning feeling rather lost (even though the nite b4, I would usually tink abt what I am gg to do the nxt day). Why liddat?

Signed up for Standchart full marathon! 42.195km!! Haas, I’m insane…I’m still contemplating if I made the correct decision anot…42.195km is no joke, its scary! I hope I will be able to survive it…

I chanced upon a body fat weighing machine today. My body fat percentage is a shocking 24%!! Gosh! That’s like the upper limit of the acceptable range for women age 18-30.

I decided to do some experimenting though. When I select the option male on the weighing machine, my body fat percentage dropped to 19%! Like HUH?! Does some women body fat NOT count as fat for men?? Then I selected the option female athlete, and my body fat percentage measured 19% again! To be sure, I checked my fat percentage under the option female again and it went back up to 24%. How weird!! The body fat weighing machine cannot be trusted!!

Finally decided to get down to blogging once again since I’m super free these days. Two weeks of no work plus no training, and just plain enjoyment of life. Been rather busy for the past few months though. In fact, so many things have happened since I last updated.

What we have trained so hard for was just taken away in that few minutes on 1st july 2007. It was pain but because of this loss, I believe ntu phoenix will fight back stronger and winning the cup nxt yr will mean so much more to us. Its not over yet, its just the beginning.

Work finally ended on 6th july. Wasn’t that pleasant an experience but it was a wake up call for me. A learning experience I would say. It’s better that I experience it now than when I officially start working.

Just last week I attended a 3.5 days camp which was rather amazing and inspiring. Learnt some interesting things about taking control over my life. Experienced some stuff that made me realize the power of visualization and belief. A new beginning...