Mole abrasion!! Cries!!

Went ost running wif some of the team, & had mole abrasion while running…like wth…running also can ganna abrasion. It was quite pain can, even my sports bra also got blood (though din realize it until I bathe).

Last sat while doing twisting accidentally ganna mole abrasion. Thus, the current state of painful mole abrasion even while running. All these problems coz I haf a freaking mole out of nowhere, like not below or above the sports bra, like in some awkward position that gives me abrasion during twisting…like the strip cutting the mole…like ouch!!

Looks like really gotta remove the mole…but I scared leh. The doctor say muz cut it out (like pain!!...not use laser leh) & then stitch it!!!! (like more pain!!!!) & then muz remove the stitch (like also pain!!!) No way man!! But looks like now really no choice le…cries…helps…Anyways, I delayed it to 27 dec…hahax…the later the better…mouse is freaking scared of pain…

Happie 42th Birthdae Singapore! I’m really grateful to be born in Singapore, where there is peace, stability, security, opportunities, & a thriving economy…

Cycled to McRitchie under the blazing hot noon sun. Why? Coz no one wanna cyle in the morn! Argh! So angry can! Always liddat one! So in the end, onli my dad, me & tiga doggie went cycling…

Cycling to McRitchie is quite a hassle coz of the PIE & all the pie exits, with no traffic lights at the pie exits, had to wait insanely long for there to be finally no cars turning into the exit, & then chiong across the road, like super dangerous n scary.

Then from PIE to McRitchie got long (really long) stretches of upslope and downslope. Obviously my dad doesn’t wait for me, he juz chiong up the slopes…zzz…& my legs are like super suan todae, tink coz of the sprinting on tues training, plus the tiga doggie must haf put on some weight, super fat heavy dog juz sit in the basket n add to my difficulty.

When it is finally downslope, my dad would zoom down faster than me since he is heavier. So instead of I can finally catch my breadth & enjoy the wind while going downslope, I had to cycle faster to try to keep up wif my dad, otherwise the gap will juz widen with the next upslope. Faints…it was quite tiring…todae like cannot realli move fast, legs keep suaning…

But it was really fun!! Cycling always makes my day! Recharged & ready for sch tmr…

Skin’s peeling like crazy!! noise skin, forehead skin, etc.. luckily haf fringe to cover the disgusting peeling mess on my forehead. Can’t stand it, I’m gonna peel it all off once and for all…hymph!

Todae I did a survey in sch, in return for $10 cash. Super gd deal!! Budden hor, I didn't know how to answer the qns, was smth abt company's financial situation, then there was an analyst report n i'm asked whether the analyst report is reasonable! Like HUH?! I juz anyhow answer in 2 sentences, heehee...realli dunno how to answer it...Poor professor must be regretting paying me $10 to do the survey...

Btw, overload request has been approved but its like a lil too late now…argh! There’s obviously no more vacancies for forensic sci. Even if I wanna take genes r us (which I saw more than 100 vacancies on mon), now also zero vacancies. Sigh! Looks like really gotta clear science PE next sem already. Next sem’s gonna be a real killer…I didn’t want it this way, nxt sem supposed to be less taxing to cope with training that will step up…but there ain’t much choice now…live with it, learn to adapt…

First lecture of the new semester todae. Despite my resolution to pay attention during lectures, I couldn’t battle the zzzz monster, even though I wasn’t sleepy at all. Accounting II lecture was really ultimate boring, so forgive myself.

Many many sprinting for training todae. Too long never really sprint already. Get breathless & lack of oxygen even before my legs become tired. Maybe cycling will help build stamina. =) Looking forward to cycling on thurs!

The queue at popular bookstore is insanely long cum slow. And I realized how inconvenient it is to go from hall 1 to south spine, haf to walk thru hall 5, hall 4 then reach s3. Juz to buy 2 tbs, I walked 10-15mins to popular, queued 30 mins, then walked 10-15mins back to hall 1. What a waste of time!

The sun’s a killer! Am burnt! Burnt red!

After training, went to golden mile hawker centre for lunch. Quite surprised that golden mile is soooo near kallang, abt 5-10mins onli. Somemore got quite a lot of nice food there. Ate the hokkien mee (yummy!) Oh yar, I had a huge lunch…ate 2 donuts (that lixian brought to training), 1 huge plate of hokkien mee & 1 cup of lemon lime…oops…

Kallang was unusually quiet n deserted today. Feels kinda weird. Where is everyone? Also, today’s turnout was fewer than last few trainings. All the yr 3s(going yr 4s) weren’t here, except for emily.

We went canoeing today, & it was horrible! The canoe went anyway else but straight…diaoz…Poor yy (who was partnering me & sat at the back) had a real tough time steering the direction, can tell she’s rather pissed off. If I had to keep steering the boat, I’ll be rather pissed off too. Something’s veri veri wrong wif my technique, juz couldn’t execute the canoe twisting style. Am soooo dead meat, much more canoeing to come in the nxt few wks, mths, yr….helps….

Shucks! I can see a hole in my skin coz of the cut. Pls hope the flesh will grow back. I’m a lil more concerned abt the cut coz its hurting a lil since I juz bathe. But then again, it’s a small small cut, so relax, relax, relax, no worries…

Anways, I DIN get foriensic science!! Shit man! I’m rather screwed lar, I need to clear my STS-PE this sem & I really really wanna take foriensic science! If its on a first-come-first-serve basis, I should get it mah, b4 the system open for registration I already keep clicking to make sure I’m the first few to register. Sigh, I think its coz I haven got the overload request yet, so the system would auto reject me since I already registered the max no. of aus. Stupid system lar, the overload requesting onli starts from 6 august!!! After register subjects le, then request for overload gt wad use! Wad we need is to get overload approval b4 subject registeration wad! ARGH! Stupid system!!

As I was walking towards the rear of the bus, the bus jerked forward & my knee crashed against a metal piece jutting out from the last row of seats. Just before the incident happened, I did notice the unusual metal piece jutting out. But when the bus jerked forward, it was just a reflex action to use my knee as support, preventing an unglam fall. In exchange, my poor knee has a cut!! The cuts a bit deeper into the skin than bruises, but due to the blood clots covering the cut, its hard to see how deep the cut really is. It doesn’t hurt much though, I can still run, jump, cycle. No worries, small cut onli, can’t be that deep, juz hope the flesh will grow back (It will grow back rite?), & dun leave a hole in my skin. That metal piece jutting out is sooo dangerous, imagine if a toddler crashes into it, given the toddler’s height, he might get a cut on his head or neck…

WaLau….I wanna change room!!…Guess who’s my new roomie. She’s an Indonesian, which means she’ll be in hall even on weekends, sigh…say bye to some peace on fri nite & sat morn. Kinda expected my roomie to be a foreigner though, afterall very few sporeans would have no roomie, unless they r a loner like me. But what’s worse is that she is a close fren of my ex-roomie. This is so so sooooo coincidental lar! Sigh, this is bad esp since I was on quite bad terms wif my ex-roomie. Tell me how am I gg to survive…

As for my toiletmates, they are from China. My upper sec china classmates were quite nice pple actually. Budden heard many bad things abt having China pple as toiletmates…like they won’t clean the toilet & dirty the toilet instead. Thankfully though, my new roomie said that she saw them scrubbing the toilet when they juz moved in, so I guess & please please hope that they r probably not that bad…

Haiz, I guess the library will come in very very handy for me nxt sem…bye bye comfy, relaxing, peaceful hall room….

Do u experience a short memory loss when u juz woken up? I have experienced many many times of short memory loss when I juz woke up. This morning, I woke up wondering why my maid woke me up so early….Then, it suddenly dawned onto me that I had to be in sch by 9.30am!! And I was gg to be late!!...Shucks! This is not the first or the few times that I experience a short memory loss upon juz waking up. During school time, quite frequently, when I wake up in hall I would like wonder what do I haf to do…And onli after look at my timetable b4 I remember what class I had to go for that morning. And so most of the time, I wake up in the morning feeling rather lost (even though the nite b4, I would usually tink abt what I am gg to do the nxt day). Why liddat?

Signed up for Standchart full marathon! 42.195km!! Haas, I’m insane…I’m still contemplating if I made the correct decision anot…42.195km is no joke, its scary! I hope I will be able to survive it…

I chanced upon a body fat weighing machine today. My body fat percentage is a shocking 24%!! Gosh! That’s like the upper limit of the acceptable range for women age 18-30.

I decided to do some experimenting though. When I select the option male on the weighing machine, my body fat percentage dropped to 19%! Like HUH?! Does some women body fat NOT count as fat for men?? Then I selected the option female athlete, and my body fat percentage measured 19% again! To be sure, I checked my fat percentage under the option female again and it went back up to 24%. How weird!! The body fat weighing machine cannot be trusted!!

Finally decided to get down to blogging once again since I’m super free these days. Two weeks of no work plus no training, and just plain enjoyment of life. Been rather busy for the past few months though. In fact, so many things have happened since I last updated.

What we have trained so hard for was just taken away in that few minutes on 1st july 2007. It was pain but because of this loss, I believe ntu phoenix will fight back stronger and winning the cup nxt yr will mean so much more to us. Its not over yet, its just the beginning.

Work finally ended on 6th july. Wasn’t that pleasant an experience but it was a wake up call for me. A learning experience I would say. It’s better that I experience it now than when I officially start working.

Just last week I attended a 3.5 days camp which was rather amazing and inspiring. Learnt some interesting things about taking control over my life. Experienced some stuff that made me realize the power of visualization and belief. A new beginning...

3rd consecutive training todae. Ah hee lined us up in the boat and he called my name first. My first reaction was die!!! I dun wanna be pacer! My first pacing experience was a total mess. It was during regatta last nov. First time pacing and it must be during the competition somemore, u cannot imagine how panic I was. Anyway, that was total screwup coz I didn’t follow the 30-20 strategy. I wasn’t even conscious of my strokes. I was juz struggling to keep up with the right rower pacer. We err didn’t communicate throughout the whole race, although the rest heard li si shouting and cheryl n ye en were saying the pace too fast, but I didn’t hear anything throughout the race. Felt heavy water throughout the whole race and it was juz a totally misearable rowing experience. When we crossed the finishing line, I was juz so relieved it was over. We came in one of the last or the last, can’t really remember. Anyway, that was long over. Today, pacing was not that bad coz onli paced for 1 set, then ah hee changed pacers.

Training in school todae. Running’s a bit more xiong, running up can 1 slope 3 times followed by behind src 3 times. Didn’t realized how suan my thighs were until I reached home and did some stretching. Weights training as usual. I realized how much I had dropped, or actually I realized it about a week ago, when I went to the gym below my house with my bro, and tried to lift the 10kg weights I was like wow when did 10kg become so heavy, but in front of my bro cannot too maloo lar, so I managed to do 1 set without support. 3 weeks without lifting weights has such a great difference. I still remember juz before the exams, I went with yeen to the gym for a short while and I could still do the 11kg weights with ease.

Today, we had nite training and I felt the ting which I had feared about. But maybe its juz me being too conscious and worried over it. Perhaps its not as bad as I thought it was. Anyways, I think I can still survive it.

My parents are going for the 15km runway cycling this coming 3rd Jun. boooo…I also wan go! But 3rd Jun being a Sunday, there’s bound to be training. I could make it in time since the event flags off at 8am but the real problem is fitting 3 big bicycles in the car. I wonder how we managed to fit 5 bicycles in the car last time. But that was long long time ago when we were small and our bikes were small too.

We could cycle on sat nite to the paya lebar airbase and camp there overnight before the event starts the next morn, that would be quite cool! But nah, my parents would never agree to that. Argh, spoil the fun.

It has been a long time since we went for runway cycling. The last time we went was in 2003 when I was in sec 4. That time onli my dad, bro and me went. But we used to go runway cycling as a whole family together with my dad’s friend’s family. I think the last time we did that was in 1999 when I was pri 6. That time my mum went with my bro on the leisure fun cycle 6km route and she had a fall, coz my bro was cycling quite slowly which was ok since he was onli pri 1, but tink somebody from behind wanted to overtake them and then they collided. Since then my mum kinda feared cycling but she picked it up again this year.

That particular runway cycling in 1999 was fun too coz my dad was accompanying my younger sis and my dad’s friend was accompanying his daughter and wife, so they let me and my dad’s friend’s son cycle by ourselves. When we finished the 12km route, we didn’t see many people so we thought we were supposed to go another round and so we did. So we cycled 24km in total and got scolded when we finished coz I think we were supposed to go and collect goodie bags, that’s why they let us cycle off first, but in the end we came back even later then them.

Today marks our first official training since the exams ended. Ah hee came up with some interesting stuff which we heard from those who went for mixed training last weekend. It was kinda fun I must say, and not that bad after all. But this is juz the beginning. As ah hee said, todae is considered half training onli.

Today, we went kayaking. Actually I wasn’t sure if today was the real training or own time own target kind. The message sounded like it was real training. Anyway, I misunderstood the message. Didn’t think that the 1 meant 1pm, I thought it was a typo, haas silly me. So went for kayaking instead of dragonboating. Anyway, the alumni boat didn’t haf space for anymore left rowers.

Kayaking was torturous, as I had feared. Haas, even since sec 3 obs kayaking experience, I had always been apprehensive about kayaking. During that obs experience, me and my partner could not kayak straight and we were struggling to keep up with the rest of the pack. It was quite frustrating, afterall we were from ncc leh, how come cannot even kayak faster than some of the non-sport people. But its not my partner’s fault coz after that we change partner, and me and my new partner still cannot kayak straight but my old partner could now kayak straight. It was truly miserable experience coz it was a round pulau ubin kayaking experience and we couldn’t stop. Back then, I thought it was something wrong with that particular kayak but now, having todae’s experience, I think the problem is in me. haas, cannot be every kayak I’m in got problem. But that’s not the real reason why I fear kayaking. Its something else which I shouldn’t say.

Anyway, kayaking was real tiring, partly coz we couldn’t kayak straight. Weishan and gekling are so pro, they seem to be able to kayak straight with ease. I wonder how they manage to do it. But anyway, I am not going to kayak anymore, I’d rather row dragonboat.

After kayaking, I went to suntec to attend a wine-tasting session and I won a 1.5 ltr of stoney vineyard, domain A wine! 2nd time I won a bottle of wine. The 1st time was when I was in lower sec or upper pri, and I managed to fix some puzzle at an overseas wine bar and the owner of the wine bar gave me a bottle of wine for free! I think I gave that bottle to my mum, either for her birthdae, mother’s day or Christmas, many years ago.

Today went out with my dad to do his stuff. Yea, he is always making me go along with him, which is rather maddening at times. But I guess I am quite lucky that my dad brings me out for exposure, and I should try to be appreciative of that.

So today, we met my dad’s old classmate whose working at EFG bank. I didn’t know such a bank existed, but apparently EFG stands for some European Financial Group if I remembered correctly. Then we had lunch at a nice Teochew restaurant while they talked about business stuff. The main reason why I hate to go for such stuff is coz I’m like a fool liddat, 20 years old already still dunno how to join in their conversation and this feeling really suxs. So I erm usually juz listen. Anyways, the food was great. The water chestnut drink was super nice and so was the yam paste.

After that, we went to meet a banker at American Express and listen to him talk about options, exchange, etc. As usual I don’t quite understand wad’s going on. But occasionally hear of put options and call options which we learn before in financial management. Then they were talking about buying put and call and it seems like the arbitrage opportunities that the fm lecturer mentioned but up till now I haf no idea how to calculate that, heng it didn’t come out for the exams. But that banker was like so knowledgeable, and he can think veri fast, I was like wow.

I guess I’m really lucky to haf such a dad.

The freaking rain screwed up our canoeing plan today. When I was on the mrt, actually already noticed the black clouds, but was hoping it wouldn’t rain. Argh, it always rains at the wrong time. Wad a wasted trip!

My parents and especially my dad is getting fed up with me lazing around, not studying, not reading, not working and juz wasting my life away. Come on! Its like onli the 3rd day since my exams ended. Why can’t I sleep for as long as I like? and I realli realli hate reading so can't u like spare me from this. Argh. This is so maddening. Yes, I’m going to work. And its too bad I can’t start earlier. Its juz less than 2 weeks before I start work so can I like play now while I still can? Life’s gonna get busy with work and night trainings starting in less than 2 weeks time.

Anyways, I’m gg out tmr. Nah, not shopping. I hate shopping. I’m going canoeing! Time to get out, before my dad gets even more fed up with me wasting my time and life doing nth productive. Not that he approves of canoeing either, its juz a waste of time to him. But who cares, I’m gonna haf fun tmr!

Time to start preparing for the next war. Haas, it’s the PM cup! I dun really care if I get to row anot anymore, which is most likely the case. I know I once had the chance and I screwed it up big time at regatta and I’m really sorrie to my teammates who had train hard for regatta even though it was juz days to the exams. That was the turning point and now I need to train hard to stay in the team. But I know I like the team, I like the sport and I want to stay in it. So let’s train hard together and get bring PM cup back. Its not gonna be easy but nothing worth getting comes easy.

Today was cool! My dad, mum, bro and I cycled to Pandan Reservoir today. The view was unbelievable. It felt like I was on holiday in Australia, rotting by the park, it was so not like Singapore. I suggested we should dabao early lunch and picnic by the reservoir and so we did. We sat on the rocks by the water eating our meal. It was sooo sooo cool. Actually Pandan Reservoir is not that far after all.

Our or rather my original plan was much more exciting but it would take a miracle to get everyone to follow it. So here goes my dreamed 1 day of cycling plan. In the morning, we were supposed to wake up early ard 7am and cycle to botanic gardens for a picnic of bread, ham, cheese and chips. Then we were supposed to cycle to pandan reservoir for lunch by the water side and finally to jurong east for a nice dinner.

Oh wells, even though things did not go as planned, we still had a fun cycling outing today! =)

The exams are finally over. I’m glad but not that crazily happy feeling. Most people would rather end exams earlier but I’d rather haf more time to study and end later. Oh wells, its over. This time I kinda really screwed it up real bad. Juz hoping that it’ll not turn out too badly. I dun even tink I can even get a C for Biz Law, IT and HRM, got a C for 30% of biz law grades and probably a C too for 50% of IT . I’m not even sure if I can get A for both Accounting I and Financial Management to pull up my grades, gt onli A- for 50% of Acc grades and dun tink I got even A- for 50% of FM grades. Haiz, my GPA’s gonna hit rock bottom. There goes my chance for 2nd specialization in banking and finance too. My parents are sooo gonna kill me. Not even a miracle can save me this time. But its over already, work harder next sem, if not there goes my future, my career and my life.

Anyways today I moved out of hall. Didn’t realized that I had sooo many things in hall. It took a full car to bring all my stuff home. Haas, but at least it could all fit in. Settled in 1 trip, yay!

So I left my room, the room I stayed for 1 academic year juz liddat. No pictures, no looking back. I kinda miss it now. 1 year has passed by so fast. I still remember the first time moving in. I had just got back from Tibet in the early morning, ard 1-2am and woke up to a call ard 9am (tink it was from Geraldine or weilin). Then I quickly checked the hall allocation results and called therese, my 1st sem roomie, to go to clean our room and check out hall camp details too. When we first entered our room, it was filthy dirty, not like a place to stay. The bed was stinky and like rotten. The toilet was disgusting. It was the kind of no way I’m gonna stay here feeling. Then somemore, it was a Saturday and hall camp was starting the next day and I juz realized that. So we had to quickly clean up the place coz I had to attend the 2.30pm golf class instead of the usual sun class so I could go for hall camp. The room was still less than half clean but fortunately my mum agreed to come help me clean the room on Sunday morning before hall, and she cleaned the whole toilet for me and my dad even helped me bring a mattress to hall. So nice!

So now, its goodbye to my room. Not too sure if I can get back the same room next semester coz I used the sports scheme to get a room. Means they will ballot and I’ll most likely not get to stay in hall 2 since there are so many IVP in hall 2 and they contributed to hall games but I didn’t. Had no choice but to use the sports scheme to secure a room coz I onli got 8 points. The school tinks I take 35mins from home to school by public transport so I onli get 1 point for distance. Like real lor. I take 35mins by car, that’s more like it. Oh wells, I’ll juz be glad to get a room.

Quite a while since I last updated, so I shall update now. Haas.

Today, went ost running wif ye en. We slow jogged 4 rounds and sprinted 2 rounds track, but was feeling sluggish and hungry so the run was not veri effective. I’m quite slow at sprinting, always lag behind during esp for short distance like 100m sprint, not that I’m tired to the limit but juz that its like the fastest speed I can move my legs leh. Dies, super loads of sprinting to come during trainings after exam, so not looking forward to that. I fell asleep for 45 mins, while trying to study FM for upcoming quiz. Argh. So decided to go ost running again at night wif teddy, soo shuen, jolene and candice juz now. After last mon’s experience, we couldn’t let candice be the pacer again, so teddy n I paced. But erm, teddy was fast too, especially when she sees pple running in front of us and wants to overtake them. But it was a good run!

Last sun, i.e. yesterday, went cycling for breakfast. And I was cyling with the nasi lemak we dabao for my sis. So went I cycled upslope the nasi lemak packet kept swaying here and there, and the Styrofoam box opened a bit, and some chilli split out. Somemore it was raining so erm, some rainwater went in. But my sis still ate it. Haas. 3 times of cycling this weekend, nice nice. =)

Last sat, went cycling twice! Cycled to clementi for breakfast. We were in a rush so didn’t check the tire b4 we left. My back tire needed to pump air, maybe that’s y I was having a hard time cycling. Was wondering why so short distance, my leg can get so suan. At night, we went cycling again. =) This time we cycled further to jurong east. 2nd time going this far, but actually its not tough at all. If you can cycle to west coast park which we used to do so frequently, past the dreaded nus slope, then cycling to anywhere else is a breeze. Ate some nice food at jurong east. Let’s cycle there again nxt sat.

Last fri, went for free massage wif my dad at jurong east!! Am not really enthu abt massage. The best one I had was in Thailand last june. But todae the massage was quite impressive I muz say. The massage equipment is rollers made of natural jade stone (which naturally emits infra-red, which is supposedly gd). Then there are light bulbs fixed inside the jade stone roller which would emit heat, i.e. infra-red. Hmm, no idea why is infra-red good. But the heat makes the massage more relaxing and nice. Relieved my shoulder and back ache. =)

Last thurs, I went home at last!! Couldn’t wait to go home so I msged my dad to pick me straight after accounting tut. My mum came too and we had lunch at can 1. Ate sour and spicy noodle (suan la mien), one of my fav food. When I was still in jc, at times, my family would come to ntu to eat on sat and I would almost always eat suan la mien. But when I started uni, tink the chief changed so the suan la mien not as nice as before. But today, it was nice! Missed out on ost at gym wif yr 1s and ost running wif teddy coz I went home, wasted. But at night, played tennis wif my bro. First time play until so shiok!! We managed to keep the tennis ball flying. Yea man, that’s the real game, unlike in the past where we haf to keep picking up the tennis balls. Then we went swimming. Argh, I need a new swimsuit. The old one’s too stretched, now can onli go swimming at night.


Last wed, actually wished that team lunch would be today budden its on thurs. hmm, tink coz I asked tay chuan why team lunch always wed de. Haas, ok but first time looking forward to team lunch, even though din haf team lunch. So went can 4 to eat wif FM groupmates. Eh, the food there not veri great leh. I onli went can 4 once during orientation on 1st day of sch and the food sucks. But since my FM groupmates always go there and eat on weds, thought maybe there’s some nice food there. Maybe its juz the chicken dishes that are nice, but I dun realli eat chicken, tastes fake to me.

Last tue, pon mentoring session for the 3rd time. 1st time was coz of NAF preparations, 2nd time was coz of rushing biz law report and this time was coz its parent meeting session. Actually I wouldn’t mind going, but its kinda weird lar, last 3 sessions consecutively never see my tutee, a bit hard to evaluate her, so wad I feedback will probably not be very accurate or useful.

Last mon, went ost running with sharon, candice, sarah, soo shuen n jolene. Pacers were candice and sharon. Erm, so the pace was quite fast to me. And they chionged up the slopes. But it was a good run! Haven’t had such a good run for quite long. Was quite effective last mon, managed to complete biz law tut qn 2, which my grp was presenting. So I’ll be able to contribute during the discussion. That left me in a gd mood last mon.

Can’t believe sch’s starting tmr again. I’m like so not prepared for the start of sch. haas, always have this kinda feeling every sun when I come back to hall. Need some time to settle down and get into the school mood. Last sem was worst, had marketing tutorial and ob tutorial on mon. So lesson learnt, I put the most slack lesson, i.e. IT, on mon for this sem. The even better thing that IT starts at 9.30am, unlike my other days which all start at 8.30am.

Today, am feeling more unprepared for sch than usual coz we juz had db team steamboat at marina bay until quite late and I juz got back to hall. And I see SEVEN email replies on our IT project within less than 24hrs!!! argh, overwhelmed! Ok, I’ll look at it soon. Better try to contribute to the project.

Today I cut my hair! Am quite pleased with it, though the fringe part like quite weird, quite thick hor. But overall still ok. The only frustrating part is it’s hard to tie my hair now, and I got quite fed up trying to tie it up before training. The weather is so hot, that I’ll die from more heat if I dun tie up my hair.

So today marks the last official training. Weekends will feel kinda weird without trainings. But anyways, its not gonna be a total break from exercising. Still needa do some light jogging and sprints?! (hate and sux at sprinting) But somehow I usually feel more like exercising during the exam period. It’s a good break in between studying too, as compared to watching TV or chatting online to relax for a while. So study hard and dun forget to exercising a bit too.

3 weeks to the exams! Scary…I’ve not started studying for the exams yet. Still trying to do tutorials, quizzes and project. Argh, I really muz start this week. It’s time to get into the exam mood.

Mouse is a happier girl coz she’s at home now!! =) and tiga doggy is wif me too. Today, tiga did a gd deed. He found the missing hamster under the cabinet. No wonder he kept staring at the cabinet and trying to stick his head under the cabinet. Coz the hamster was hiding under the cabinet near the wheels.

Today I was quite cui for training. My fitness is quite bad these days. Even before reaching the second bridge, which tink is less than 1.5km, I was already dying from the run, thanks to the freaking stitch. Then when running back that time, keep having this light-headed feeling, not really dizzing, more like floating kind of feeling, argh, dunno how to describe lar. Then when I stopped, the light-headed feeling hit me worse, makes me feel like puking, but I din lar, coz I had nth to puke anyway. The light headed feeling lasted quite long. Gd thing we get to sit when rowing, so its not that bad. But when first started rowing, I felt quite shitty, coz the boat like keep jerking forward, makes me wanna puke. But after a while, it gets ok.

So I din go cycling tonight. If on normal days, I would keep pestering and insisting that we go cycling. But nah, todae I think I’ll lag behind if we go cycling so I’m kinda glad we din cycle even though I was looking forward to it. At least the light headed feeling now is gone. Phew. Light headedness was probably why now I completely stop drinking milk tea. Coz I got scared out when I had super low blood pressure like the day before my stats exam last sem, so yea I don’t drink milk tea now even though I like it. I should drink less green tea too, though I rely on it to keep me awake during lessons.

Today has been rather ineffective once again. In fact, the past whole week has been ineffective. And its only 3 weeks to the exams. hElPs! Where has my motivation for studying gone to?!? If only I could be as motivated, like I was in sec 3 & 4. Those were the peak of my academic days. In jc, my motivation for studying kinda died off, but fortunately it was revived in j2, largely due to panic and thanks to having a good study partner, jasmine. I thot last sem was bad enuf, but to think of it now, last sem was much better than this sem. At least I did study harder and more than this sem, it was just that I lacked time or rather had poor time management. On the contrary though, this sem I’m like super ultra loads of free time, I even haf a free day, yet I am not studying at all! My parents may think trainings are affecting my studies. But no, its really not. Even with training, I seriously have loads of free time. Even without training, I’ll just waste those extra time. Argh, 3 weeks left, I must find my motivation back before its really too late.

Sometimes I think it’s the super loneliness that makes me ultra inefficient in hall. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to study tgt with and not just facing the four walls in hall. When I see people walking tgt to lecture theatres, tutorial rooms or canteen, I’m envious of them. Sometimes when I see others talking and laughing with each other during tutorials and lectures, I just wish I could too. Sometimes I just wish I did not haf to dabao lunch n dinner and eat in the room alone, just because I don’t want to eat alone in the crowded canteen, where everyone else are eating in groups. Sometimes I just wish I had not stayed in hall and was at home. I noe it sounds stupid and ridiculous. But that’s how I really feel and its my blog, so just let me be myself and say wad I feel.

So just now, I decided to go to my hall’s study room in hope that there would be others studying there too. Even though I’ll not know them, it just the studying atmosphere that will be motivating. But no, there was NO one in the freaking study room. So it was just the same as being in my room, me alone in the big quiet room. haiz, tried doing my tutorials but yea, I just felt bored. So here I am back in my room, since it doesn’t make a difference anyway.

I’m not that independent or self-reliant you noe. I thought I was, I really believed I was, I though I could survive this all by myself. I thought it was the least important issue anyone could be bothered about, I though it didn’t matter at all to me, afterall I don’t get close to people, not even my friends, only my close friends, which is like 3 onli but I haf lost contact with them anyway. Actually I think all this is just my own doings. It’s the way interact with others, shut myself from others, not motivating or encouraging or comforting others when that’s wad friends should do, that lead to this result.

Sometimes I really wish I had someone to study tgt with but I noe why I don’t. No one likes to study with others if they cannot be achieve greater effectiveness or motivation. Maybe I should not say that I’m sianz or bored to others, when I am, not that I want to make others feel sianz too, but its just the way I vent out the boredom, but I guess it appears that this affects others negatively. I should just keep all these negative useless feelings to myself. No one likes to hear such stuff. Instead, I should try to be more considerate and motivate others too. Its like give and take. If all I do is look for motivation, encouragement from others, yet I dun offer any, I won’t be deserving of any, and no wonder the situation is as it is now.

Its like wad xiaohong said about dragonboat races. Even if u don’t get to row, u should still send your teammates off to the startpoint, remind them to take water and extra paddle, encourage them and help them to relax before the race. It’ll let ure teammates noe that ure there for them and nxt time when u get to row, they’ll be there for u. How true! I’m really enlightened. Actually I really admire how some people manage to give wise advice. Such phrases or words really help motivate others. But too bad, I’m not good at creating these wise phrases.

Ok, I’d better get back to my tutorials. I promised to finish them so that I can go cycling tomorrow night. Come on mousey, u can do it, its just takes a few hours of concentration. Motivation comes from within, you’re a big adult now, grow up and focus on what needs to be done. Keep negative feelings to yourself and if it really needs to be let out, let it be limited to the boundaries of this blog. Be less selfish, remember to receive you must first give. Be a changed person, start afresh, there’s only 3 weeks left and you noe there’s been hardly anything done. Suddenly I feel motivated, or I imagined to haf felt it. =) is just a surface thing...

It’s been super long since I last blogged, more than a month. February and half of march juz zoom past like this. I’ve been lazying around too much during this time, not studying, not blogging and juz wasting my time. I’ve even been studying less than my brother, which means almost no studying at all. That’s really bad.

I think blogging is a good thing, it helps to reflect one each and every day, how u spend ure time. So from now on, I shall start blogging once again. 1 month till the start of exams, scary. Yet another semester zooming by just like that. I muz not waste this one last month. I’m already pretty screwed up wif my studies.

Juz some thoughts, what’s the point of holding on when things are not going to change. Or issit juz me that the efforts and fighting spirit is not in there. Its juz a simple minor one, yet I still dun get a chance. But perhaps its juz me. Chances are only for the derserving, they need to be earned. But I dun wanna let go too. Sigh. ok, dun tink abt it until after the exams.

Time to get started with accounting then IT project. Byes…